Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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