i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize