It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
