It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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