My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm too high and old for this...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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