8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
