this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
