I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
