so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
But break dance skills will only take you so far
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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