well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
