I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
