I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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