lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
