maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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