So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
