Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
