Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
