Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
