i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
