just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
