If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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