The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
