Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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