Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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