This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
