Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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