I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
