You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I could have mohawked her pubes.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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