And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
