sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
