Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
