The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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