We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Randomize