i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
