I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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