I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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