She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
