Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
