No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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