we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
