We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
