Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
