I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
