a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
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