you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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