There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
