that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
