Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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