And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
