bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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