highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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