If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
