I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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