Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
