May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
This is my gift to your gina
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize