Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
