i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
