shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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