hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
