She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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