To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
