Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She told me I should be a condom model.
We talked him into tasing himself.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
