I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
