i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
