I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
