i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
