No I am not eating basil off your cock
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
