You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
