Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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