No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
