the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
