Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
