I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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