Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
