I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize