how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
