Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
